Reward Offered for Missing Child

I am inserting this small disclaimer at the beginning of the post; I wrote this in the midst of a particularly trying day. Since, we've had several great days that have reminded me of why I love my little man.

Months have passed and life continues. I love spending time at home with my boys, but lately I've been feeling my patience run a little thin (especially with a certain red headed 2 year old). What's happened, I ask myself? Do I only enjoy motherhood up to a certain age? Have I hit my limit and from the age of 2 years and 3 months on, my children will consistently make me want to pull my hair from my head, strand by tiny strand (yes, at times, dealing with this 2 year old is that tedious and... itchy?)?

I hear "mama." "mama." "mama?" "MAMA!" over and over and the only way to make it stop (and even then, only for brief moments) is to stop whatever I am doing and look at him to be shown something in grunts and a very extensive array of hand motions (yeah, still no significant step on the words but he has created quite a non-verbal "sign language").

I feel like we're close to some potty victory; Noah wears big boy underwear and consistently catches himself and comes to peepee in the potty with only a tiny leak into the undies. THEN, without any discernible reason, he's asked if he needs to potty, says "no", then 5 minutes later proceeds to SOAK his undies and pants. And does it repeatedly. It doesn't take long for me to throw my arms in the air in frustration and strap him into a jumbo sized cloth diaper.

I watch darling little Rowan sitting on the floor, quietly playing, or crawling to get a toy and I watch Noah walk over and push him down or squish him or simply snatch the toy from his hand (now, to Noah's credit, he often provides a toy to "trade", but still!). Rowan cries. I tell Noah to give the toy back, or stop squashing and he ignores me for the first 2 times. Mommy gets angry and gives her meanest mom "look" ( I credit the possession of that particular skill to my own mother) and says through gritted teeth, "NOW.". Noah cries.

I ask myself, what happened to my sweet little red head? I know deep down the answer is that he turned 2 and is aging normally but its hard to imagine that these "episodes " will ever stop! I presume this frustration has been experienced by all mothers at sometime and they are all still alive (and more importantly, their children are alive). So, I persevere. Will I survive? I bet I will. Will Noah? Most certainly.